RE:

it is entirely selfish of me to think i could conquer the world.
first things first.
i loose my head when i fall in love.

with my head in the clouds and my feet firmly planted somewhere - no -
ELSEWHERE in time and space
it was easy for me to loose control

girls gone wild

sleepwalking in love and never wanting to wake up

i am always looking for a home and when i find one it is time to move on

koOOOOoky krisps

happy mistake

1 2 i love you 3 4 i love you more

always and forever

whatever happened to pattycake and her baker's men?

i'm trying to put it back together just as fast as i can....................

yet it's still in pieces

pieces so translucent and scattered i can see right through the ugly mess to its core,
the essence of everything that was lost and is now slipping away into the void of times forgotten...
and i know i must capture and label all i can before it is too late
before it is all cast into the garbage heap of useless junk
and the dead decaying putrid mass that is life my son

there is an overwhelming sense of urgency i cannot avoid

i am tired of indoor voices! what i'm saying is important!
i am screaming and no one is listening

i demand attention!

then i am scared when you notice

they call me
crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy

get into the rhythm before the coming tide takes its claim

the tsunami of my soul flooding yours

and this is what i ask,
 -what i long for-

i have wanted to pierce your heart with words and symbols so powerful
they cut your eye and dig into your soul
i have wanted to get under your skin like a dirty chigger and have you itch and scratch in a most uncomfortable position until you bleed
i have wanted for you to be tortured as i am tortured

it is entirely selfish of me to want someone to understand

understand what i cannot
        
             myself

a lonely island waiting to be explored
waiting for someone to uncover the hidden treasure that is buried deep inside

it is entirely selfish of me to think that i am any different than anyone else

i am not
i am the same

my treasure is covered in rust

i am rusting from the inside out

slowly


grotesque monstrous

senseless and foolish

this is me

naked, raw, exposed

i want you to fuck me
i want to be raped
again
it feels good
the pain so gut wrenching i am forced to explode
throwing up my insides
inside-out
upside-down

knocked-up

knowing this is a secret that can not be revealed
that is best left unacknowledged
behind closed doors
tucked away in the dark
your secret is safe with me
i enjoyed the violation
the vandalism of innocence

i feel the meat between my legs to remind myself of you

i can not tell fact from fiction

its all lies anyway

all this means nothing

i'm sorry
i'm not sorry

no apologies
will
be
excepted

i will play dumb
that is what you want

dumb girl

dumb dumb dumb girl

FUCK YOU!

i'll do what i want